so, I am in a very interesting position in my life. I HAVE ABSOLUTLEY NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NEXT.
I have spent the last year and a half working very hard on my masters in teaching.
now I have almost completed the program and I do not, for the life of me, what to leave these boys and go back to work.
I can't do it. I actually feel like it's physically impossible for me to do it.
oh, I had big plans of being the working mother. I pumped myself up, told myself and everyone I know that I could do it.
I tried to be one of those moms that said, "i'm a better mom when I work."
but i'm just not that type of mom.
honestly, I wish I were.
then I could help our little family out. make us a little extra money.
Derek is right, we need me to work at this point in our lives.
i sort of have an alternate plan. that plan is called: continue on in school and get my doctorate so i can eventually teach college, while gaining LOADS OF DEBT in the process.
this would allow me to stay home for three more years.
we have a friend, a lifelong friend, who introduced Derek and me.
she currently teaches college and she is urging me to go ahead and complete my education by getting my doctorate.
she wishes she would have done hers when her son was little. because now, she is working and getting her doctorate and she says it is very difficult.
she says the debt will be an investment, and will buy me a few more years with my kids, at which point they will be 5 and 6 and will be going to school.
THEN i can start my career.
but is that foolish?
am i being a baby?
i know not many people read this little 'ol blog...but if you have any advice, will you give it to me?
i have prayed and prayed. and i guess i just need to leave it in God's hands.
but i can't figure out the difference between "don't strive. leave it in God's hands. TRUST HIM." and "be smart. make a plan."
but really?? how can i leave these precious ones?
You will never get this time back! If I had something like this available to me - I would do it just to be home with Parker! To me that debt is well worth the reward, especially if you're someone disciplined enough to work hard at paying it off once you're working again. Nothing is more valuable than those precious years which feel like seconds! Trust me - I am part time, but even the part of the week I do have to work feels like too much, feels like someone else is raising my baby!
ReplyDeleteAmber, thank you so much!! It helps to hear from moms who are in the same place. I'm praying it really works out for me to stay home. We should let our boys play together sometime!
Deletecarriebeth, I say stay with the little sweet ones if you can and y'all can make it work. They will never be tiny again and when they're 5 & 6 they'll be in school and then you have to be away from them anyway. Sooo... Work then.
ReplyDelete;-) that's my opinion. Love your heart as a momma. They'll be thankful to have had you I think. And you'll be thankful too. (But you know me, of course I would say stay home! Haha)
Thank you erin!! It's good to realize I'm not being a baby about it :) you are so encouraging! I'm so praying it all works out for me to keep staying home. God knows my deep desire to be their mommy and he can make it happen!
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ReplyDeleteI'm not a mom, but I stay stay home with your babes. you won't regret it at the end of your life.. and the money stuff will even out in the end.. in the meantime.. find crafty ways to save money like making your own laundry detergent! my mom had to work when i was a tiny tot and she still talks about to this day that she wishes she'd had more time with me as a baby...
ReplyDeleteBefore I reply, is this Callie...or no? :)
DeleteYes, it's callie :)
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