"because all of Life flames with God"

listen.

if you have not read ann voskamp's blog: a holy experience, then i need you to go and do that right now.

in my years of reading blogs, i have STRONGLY recommended two blogs to all my friends. the first one was kelle hampton's: enjoying the small things (still obsessed). and now, it's ms. voskamp's.

i heard about her blog through her book, one thousand gifts, wherein the reader is encouraged to list 1,000 things he/she is thankful for.

initially, i would stop by her blog, but not really read, because really, reading her blog is an investment. you can't just spend two minutes reading the post of the day. her posts are deep and moving. you must sit there and ponder what's she's writing. you must get out your journal and write down every single thing you hope to remember, which in my case is like....the whole blog.

the cross is what being a christian is all about right? well, i'm sad to say, i was starting to forget that. but ann, she reminded me:

"if everything in my world is spinning out of control, it is because i've lost the centrality of the cross."

"and i am the woman who needs saving from herself again, again, everyday-the dirty that needs to be wiped clean everyday, the hands that need a cross to wrap a life around so she won't get lost."

"the cross is the intersection of His love and my need. the beam that supports the whole of real life."
-ann voskamp

we had our annual candlelight service at new life last night.

(i have never, and will never claim to take good or even ok photos. i just like to document my life :)

i was brought to tears time after time, just remembering all i had read about jesus this week. He is, without a doubt, the only reason i'm alive. the only reason i want to be alive. and ann's blog made me remember.

please. go. read. now.

i miss it.

i miss working out. i miss running.

right when i had berkeley, i felt better than ever. as a newborn, up until he was about a month old, he slept most of the day and was completely content unless he was hungry. and that was pretty easy to fix.

but these days, his naps are shorter, and evenings are tricky. you never know when he might get fussy, or when he might get hungry. in the daytime, there's a schedule of sorts. at night, he could be eating every 45 minutes if he feels so inclined. (interesting fact: babies eat more frequently in the evenings so they can store up and sleep for longer intervals during the night. so go ahead berkeley, eat all you want :) that's more sleep for me!

ANY.WAY. when he was a month old, i started running again. and it was so easy. derek would come home from work and immediately take over so i could go do my thing. but now that berkeley is unpredictable at night, it's almost impossible to get in a guilt-free run or workout, knowing my sweet baby boy is at home upset. (not that derek wasn't doing all he could to take care of him. but since i'm nursing, derek can't really feed him.)

it seems everywhere i look, there are runners, bloggers who write about running, etc. and i feel so eager to get back out there!

if it weren't so dark in the mornings, i'd go before he woke up. but by the time it's light outside, he's awake.

i could meet up with the running club at 5 am, but i'm not even trained enough right now to go on a short run without walking breaks, so i probably couldn't keep up.

for a while there, my mom was keeping berkeley while derek and i went to spin class at the fitness center, but i'm about to start night classes, so to be gone 2 nights a week for school, and then 2 more nights for working out, that would just be sad. i'd miss him too much.

so there. there was no point to this post other than to discuss my running predicament. berkeley is sleeping in my lap right now, so i thought it'd be a good time to post.

now i'm going to go read the hungry runner girl and dream of the day i can run again :)

oh, and to clarify, berkeley is perfect and wonderful and the best thing that ever happened to us. i'm not blaming him in any way. i just miss running!

what i've been pondering this week: lamentations

a month or two ago, i discovered lamentations 3. since then, those words have been penetrating my heart and spirit daily. amd now, it seems, i can't hide from those verses. other bloggers are blogging about it. i stumble upon it in my time with god constantly. it's just right in the middle of me.

It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God

^19-21I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

^22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

^25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

^28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

^31-33Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way:

Lamentations 3 (The Message)

I mean, wow, right??

I think I'm going to do a study on just these verses, looking up the commentary, the definitions, the meaning. i'd like to soak up every bit of it and let it change me. cause, boy, could i use some changing. i'm thankful for change. i don't want to stay the same forever. i want to constantly be transforming to the wife, mom, daughter, and friend god created me to be.

a little "pinspiration" for you:

Source: justbesplendid.tumblr.com via CarrieBeth on Pinterest