"because all of Life flames with God"

listen.

if you have not read ann voskamp's blog: a holy experience, then i need you to go and do that right now.

in my years of reading blogs, i have STRONGLY recommended two blogs to all my friends. the first one was kelle hampton's: enjoying the small things (still obsessed). and now, it's ms. voskamp's.

i heard about her blog through her book, one thousand gifts, wherein the reader is encouraged to list 1,000 things he/she is thankful for.

initially, i would stop by her blog, but not really read, because really, reading her blog is an investment. you can't just spend two minutes reading the post of the day. her posts are deep and moving. you must sit there and ponder what's she's writing. you must get out your journal and write down every single thing you hope to remember, which in my case is like....the whole blog.

the cross is what being a christian is all about right? well, i'm sad to say, i was starting to forget that. but ann, she reminded me:

"if everything in my world is spinning out of control, it is because i've lost the centrality of the cross."

"and i am the woman who needs saving from herself again, again, everyday-the dirty that needs to be wiped clean everyday, the hands that need a cross to wrap a life around so she won't get lost."

"the cross is the intersection of His love and my need. the beam that supports the whole of real life."
-ann voskamp

we had our annual candlelight service at new life last night.

(i have never, and will never claim to take good or even ok photos. i just like to document my life :)

i was brought to tears time after time, just remembering all i had read about jesus this week. He is, without a doubt, the only reason i'm alive. the only reason i want to be alive. and ann's blog made me remember.

please. go. read. now.

i miss it.

i miss working out. i miss running.

right when i had berkeley, i felt better than ever. as a newborn, up until he was about a month old, he slept most of the day and was completely content unless he was hungry. and that was pretty easy to fix.

but these days, his naps are shorter, and evenings are tricky. you never know when he might get fussy, or when he might get hungry. in the daytime, there's a schedule of sorts. at night, he could be eating every 45 minutes if he feels so inclined. (interesting fact: babies eat more frequently in the evenings so they can store up and sleep for longer intervals during the night. so go ahead berkeley, eat all you want :) that's more sleep for me!

ANY.WAY. when he was a month old, i started running again. and it was so easy. derek would come home from work and immediately take over so i could go do my thing. but now that berkeley is unpredictable at night, it's almost impossible to get in a guilt-free run or workout, knowing my sweet baby boy is at home upset. (not that derek wasn't doing all he could to take care of him. but since i'm nursing, derek can't really feed him.)

it seems everywhere i look, there are runners, bloggers who write about running, etc. and i feel so eager to get back out there!

if it weren't so dark in the mornings, i'd go before he woke up. but by the time it's light outside, he's awake.

i could meet up with the running club at 5 am, but i'm not even trained enough right now to go on a short run without walking breaks, so i probably couldn't keep up.

for a while there, my mom was keeping berkeley while derek and i went to spin class at the fitness center, but i'm about to start night classes, so to be gone 2 nights a week for school, and then 2 more nights for working out, that would just be sad. i'd miss him too much.

so there. there was no point to this post other than to discuss my running predicament. berkeley is sleeping in my lap right now, so i thought it'd be a good time to post.

now i'm going to go read the hungry runner girl and dream of the day i can run again :)

oh, and to clarify, berkeley is perfect and wonderful and the best thing that ever happened to us. i'm not blaming him in any way. i just miss running!

what i've been pondering this week: lamentations

a month or two ago, i discovered lamentations 3. since then, those words have been penetrating my heart and spirit daily. amd now, it seems, i can't hide from those verses. other bloggers are blogging about it. i stumble upon it in my time with god constantly. it's just right in the middle of me.

It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God

^19-21I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

^22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

^25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

^28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

^31-33Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way:

Lamentations 3 (The Message)

I mean, wow, right??

I think I'm going to do a study on just these verses, looking up the commentary, the definitions, the meaning. i'd like to soak up every bit of it and let it change me. cause, boy, could i use some changing. i'm thankful for change. i don't want to stay the same forever. i want to constantly be transforming to the wife, mom, daughter, and friend god created me to be.

a little "pinspiration" for you:

Source: justbesplendid.tumblr.com via CarrieBeth on Pinterest

hello monday.

[to see other {hello monday's}, visit lisa leaonard on her lovely blog]


hello time in the bumbo and learning to sit up like a big boy!


hello running in the arkansas woods during deer season with the hubby.
hello necessary hunter orange vests and hats.

hello father/son football watching/napping.


hello berkeley in your thanksgiving onesie!


hello playing with the puppy.





hello cuddly baby. you are my favorite.

hello routine that i love so much.
i like holidays, but i love getting back home.

hello monday dentist appointment.

hello very chilly weather.

hello cozy nights with the family.

hello hot chocolate with marshmallows.

hello decorating for christmas.

hello buying new boots on cyber monday.

hello learning to release things into God's hands.

hello monday!

must-haves

like i said in the last post, we are going to visit derek's parents for the thanksgiving holiday. i like it there. it's cozy and relaxing. BUT, there are a few things that i feel like i CANNOT DO WITHOUT while i'm there, not even for just four days. it's all food related, of course.

nutella and apples-i've been eating this little snack after almost every meal since berkeley was born. it's SEMI-healthy. i get my chocolate fix, but hey, i'm eating an apple. it's a win-win.

source

chocolate cheerios mixed with bran buds-you've got your good 'ole sugary breakfast cereal AND all the fiber you need in one day! you can't go wrong! i've even gotten derek hooked on this delicious breakfast!

source

COFFEEEEEE! derek's family are not coffee drinkers....i know, how did i marry him, right? so i've left a coffee pot at their house and will be bringing some holiday creamer(peppermint mocha) to add to it!

spinach, frozen strawberries and bananas-for spinach smoothies! i drink one pretty much every day. it makes me feel better about life, knowing all those vitamins and nutrients are flowing through my body.

source

and they usually have diet coke, so we're good there :)

so i'll be packing up some things and stopping at the grocery store when we get there.

tomorrow morning you'll find me cuddled on the couch watching the MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE next to my husband and baby boy with my cereal, smoothie, and about 74 cups of coffee! (don't worry, some of it will be decaf for berkeley's sake since i'm still his source of food!)

source

happy thanksgiving eve :)
and for all you arkansans, happy arkansas vs. lsu eve eve!

hello monday.

[to see other {hello monday's}, visit lisa leaonard on her lovely blog]

hello afternoon run while the husband watches the baby.


hello sock feet and chubby legs. i love you.


hello starting to embarrass your son as early as three months old.


hello christmas shopping with the new ergo baby carrier. thank you hubbins!


hello being invited to be a bridesmaid in my lovely friend, callie's, wedding. i said yes! duh.


hello night walks around our alma mater while the baby stays with his nana and papa.


hello seeing our puppy's name, roger, displayed for all to see at kroger.


hello little boy with milk all over his face after eating. i can't even deal!


hello razorback football games.


hello fall foliage pictures of mommy and daddy.


hello little bear.


hello mommy lovin' and getting ready for bathtime.


hello again to my ergo. i'm obsessed.

and HELLO to thanksgiving weekend! we're off to derek's parents in de queen, arkansas to relax and revel in all things holidays!

what i've been pondering this week: something new

i've been praying some pretty serious prayers since this summer. and just this week, i believe i'm starting to see some answers. what's interesting is that all the prayers i've been praying seemed to be for changes in OTHERS. but really, I was the one who needed the changing. it's painful, but good. FREEING.

then, i read this this morning:
“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.” Isaiah 43:18 – 19

mmmm, music to my ears!

AND a little "pinspiration", as i like to call it!!

Source: graceserenity.tumblr.com via CarrieBeth on Pinterest

teacher

i might have mentioned before that i've come to be a little embarrassed about the number of times i've changed what i want to do with my life. it has ranged from nurse to spanish interpreter, to counselor, to teacher, to personal trainer. and round and round it goes until i wonder if i'm supposed to do anything but be the mama of little ones.

last year, i applied for the master of arts in teaching....and then decided not to do it because i found out i was pregnant with berkeley, and didn't know if it was the best plan at the moment.

then i attended a semester of grad school for counseling. it was online, and as convenient as that was, it's just not my thing.

i'm alive when i'm on a college campus. i love classes and homework and listening to lectures.

this fall, my friend brooke got her first job as an elementary school teacher, and i couldn't help but be almost jealous.

on the first day of school this year, i was about a week away from giving birth to berkeley. my mom and i went on our daily 6 am walk that morning, and watched as all the children boarded the school bus. i took pictures on my of all the eager kids, the hope of the year tucked away in their jacket pockets and backpacks.

and i just. can't. give. it. up.

i want to teach. i want to be a part of a community of other teachers. and i truly 100% believe that this is my final decision.

i took the gre on friday. i got the [unofficial] passing scores i neededed :) i applied for the 4th-8th grad language arts/social studies track, and now i'm just waiting.

you know? another main reason i want to be a teacher so bad? because derek thinks i'd be great one. and that means so much to me. his opinion makes a difference. i trust his opinion. he's around me more than anyone. so if he thinks i'll be a mighty fine teacher, then i think i will be!

so here's to pencils and backpacks and notebook paper and binders.

celebrating fall

i could list a thousand reasons why i'm glad to have a new baby boy, but one of them is that i get to spend more time with my mamaw, my cousin, and her twin boys.
for years, my cousin and her boys have gone to visit my mamaw on fridays. now that i have berkeley and am not working on fridays, we join them each week for lunch and some play time.
a couple weeks ago, we ventured out to the local pumpkin patch and ended the day with a cozy lunch at cracker barrell. i'm hoping this is now a tradition.
i carried berkeley in the sling all day, and on the way home, one of the twins sighed and said, "i wish i was berkeley". when my cousin asked him why, he said, "so i could lay in that little blue hammock all day long."
so, so, so sweet!!!
so happy to have a son now, and can't wait for him to be saying hilarious things too!!

hello monday (on a tuesday)

i was on a roll of blogging when i first started this new blog, and now...well, i've become lazy. if you consider holding your baby and staring at him for hours at a time when you should be doing other things lazy, then yes, that's me.

i've found quite a few new blogs recently. on lisa leonard's blog, she does a [hello monday] linkup. i've been dying to link up and follow along, but yesterday was monday, and i missed it! so here it is....on a tuesday.

hello charlie brown costume that is way too big.

hello morningtime in jammies while husbands brew your coffee.

hello naptime with our lovey.

hello daddy time.

hello walks with the baby in the sling.

what we've been up to (in pictures)

a trip to de queen, ar to visit derek's family, attend a baby shower for berkeley, and watch derek compete in his first bike race.

this was berkeley's first long car trip (3 hours) and he did a splendid job! he was a happy, happy baby all weekend long. he sported his camo for derek's dad, an avid hunter :)

i spent sunday morning savoring some dunkin' donuts pumpkin spice coffee.

a trip to cracker barrell is a must in the fall. my parent's left for niagra falls for the week, so we said goodbye to them with a cozy meal with my grandparents.

a picture without the baby boy, that's rare.

cracker barrell coziness

sleeping baby. as soon as we take him out of the house to do anything, he falls asleep.

a lunchtime sonic run with the hubby and little man.

sonic blast in his dress shirt and tie :)

happy because it was friday!

derek planned a little adventure to the corn maze for us. a little warm for fall festivities, yes, but oh so enjoyable.

a baby sling is a mother's best friend, at least for me.

happy pumpkins

gorgeous.

life has been treating me really well these last few weeks. looking forward to more family adventures as the season of holidays and festivities grows closer.