Morning ritual of watching @todayshow with this one :) #samemorning

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZAvjlqoyAU/

our boys: 19 months and 4 months.

oh wow. our boys right now....they are a blast.

:Berkeley:

Berkeley is the most fun thing you'll ever see. now that the weather is warmer, he wants to be outside constantly. he's liking to take walks a lot more than he used to. the other day I pushed him into the garage in his stroller after a long walk (I wear sam in the ergo) and he flipped out, wanting to go on another walk. fine with me! I would walk all day if I could :) plus since i'm carrying sam, I feel like i'm getting a real workout with the added 15-20 lbs :)

he's obsessed with basketball and no matter what's on tv he'll point and say "ba ba", hoping you'll change it to basketball
Berkeley likes to share a bowl of cereal with me in the morning. this might be my favorite part of the day. he also likes for me to hold him while I make my coffee. mornings have always been my favorite, but now they really are.

we give him chocolate carnation instant breakfast in his milk to help him gain weight. as soon as I pour a cup of milk, he says "ca-ca", for chocolate and points to the cabinet. i'm so glad because it helps him drink probably an extra 800 calories a day, which he desperately needed.

I can't figure out a nap schedule for him. for a while, we were on a role, but having sam awake more now has really thrown him off. for Berkeley's afternoon nap, sometimes sam is being so loud just talking or cooing that Berkeley can't go to sleep. if we skip the afternoon nap, nighttime is a breeze because he goes to sleep so quickly, but he's miserably tired until bedtime. if we give him an afternoon nap, even for 30 minutes, it takes him about an hour to fall asleep at night. no bueno.

the boys stay with a sweet girl a few hours, two days a week while I do my practicum for school. he loves her, but when I come home he immediately starts saying, "bye bye" to her and ushers her out the door :)

he wants to say "bye bye" and "hi" to everything. "bye bye car", "hi stars", "bye bye truck"

he loves to pull all my shoes out of the closet and make me wear them, especially my cowboy boots.

he likes to go with me to get the mail and says "meh" all the way to the mailbox.

his favorite book is "welcome to merriweather farm", a john deer book. he loves to say "moo" to the cows in the book.

in his puppy book, a puppy is trying to chew a little girl's baby doll and he says "no no!" he's heard us say that to roger plenty of times :)

in his dinosaur book there is a puppy that is trying to eat ice cream off a table and he loves telling him "no no!" too.

he loves people and pretty much puts on a show when more than one person is over.

if you ask him if he wants a bath, he runs straight to the tub.

:sam:

sam looooves when you look at him. he'll just smile and smile :)

he giggles when you tickle him.

he squeals when he's lying on his play mat and playing with his toys.

he's having a hard time nursing now that he's taking a bottle a couple times a week :( but it also seems that he might be teething, and maybe that's what's causing the problem...not really sure.

he is happy, happy, happy most of the time...but don't try to take him to a restaurant and make him sit in his car seat. he will not have that.

he looks like a 6 month old. he is 4 months :)

he sleeps great still! he goes to sleep about 9...and all you have to do is swaddle him, put him down, and walk away. it's kind of crazy considering all we've had/still have to do to get Berkeley to sleep.

he's sitting up great in his bumbo now.

and just for fun...an update on Derek and me :)

my mom and dad give us a date night every other Friday night, which we cherish.

my parents also keep the boys while we go to small group on Thursday nights. let me tell you, good friends have made all the difference in our marriage.

we love to watch duck dynasty any time it's on. the wholesome humor does us good :)

we enjoy loading up the boys and taking a drive to dunkin' donuts to share a dark chocolate mocha iced coffee. we are addicted. yum!

this season of life with two tiny ones is pure craziness. things between Derek and me are not at all like they were when we were dating....they are so much better. different, but better. more rich, I guess you could say. I can guarantee i'll look back on this time of our lives and smile :)

this messy, cluttered, good life.

One thing that has been the most difficult for me as a mom is how often our life becomes chaotic and messy. You CAN.NOT control it. It’s impossible. You can try your very best. You can even keep up with everything for a few days…and then in an instant it all falls apart. I often find myself saying to Derek in the evenings, “it looks like our house just exploded.” Actually, I probably say that every night.

I’ve been struggling with it since right before Berkeley was born. I was so afraid I was going to go into labor and the house would be a wreck, and we’d have to bring our first baby home to a mess.

But this week I was reading “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young (along with the rest of the world), and I finally got some peace about it all.

“I am calling you to a life of constant communion with Me. Basic training includes learning to live above your circumstances, even while interacting on that cluttered plane of life. You yearn for a simplified lifestyle so that your communication with me can be uninterrupted. But I challenge you to relinquish the fantasy of an uncluttered world. Accept each day just as it comes, and find Me in the midst of it all.
Talk with Me about every aspect of your day, including your feelings. Remember that your ultimate goal is not to fix everything around you; it is to keep communing with Me. A successful day is one in which you have stayed in contact with Me, even if many things remain undone at the end of the day. Do not let your to-do list (written or mental) become an idol directing your life. Instead, ask My Spirit to guide you moment by moment. He will keep you close to Me.”

Those paragraphs have brought much clarity and peace into my life. It’s scary to think, but I do believe my to-do list had become an idol. I actually can’t think of a day that it hasn’t been lately. That mental and written list each day directed my every step and mood. Don’t get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoy my precious children. We play non-stop. All day long. And I honestly don’t think I put housework and errands and to-do’s before them. But those other things are always at the back of my mind making me a nervous wreck. These words this week were permission to let that all go. Yes, I need to take care of my other duties as a wife and mom and student, but all I have to do is acknowledge God in all my ways and He will make my paths straight (Proverbs 3:6).

And hey, this messy, cluttered life has made me aware that every single moment of my life is FULL. And MEANINGFUL. That’s a pretty sweet thing to think about.

In our small group the other night (we are one of the only couples with kids), they asked everyone how we make each day count, not just letting the days pass by. I think it’s actually easier as a parent to make each day count because every moment is filled with teaching, and loving, and caring for another person other than yourself-constantly asking God to show his love to your family through you.

So beautiful.

 

Some thoughts and any advice??

 

so, I am in a very interesting position in my life. I HAVE ABSOLUTLEY NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NEXT.

I have spent the last year and a half working very hard on my masters in teaching.

now I have almost completed the program and I do not, for the life of me, what to leave these boys and go back to work.

I can't do it. I actually feel like it's physically impossible for me to do it.

oh, I had big plans of being the working mother. I pumped myself up, told myself and everyone I know that I could do it.

I tried to be one of those moms that said, "i'm a better mom when I work."

but i'm just not that type of mom.

honestly, I wish I were.

then I could help our little family out. make us a little extra money.

Derek is right, we need me to work at this point in our lives.

i sort of have an alternate plan. that plan is called: continue on in school and get my doctorate so i can eventually teach college, while gaining LOADS OF DEBT in the process.

this would allow me to stay home for three more years.

we have a friend, a lifelong friend, who introduced Derek and me.

she currently teaches college and she is urging me to go ahead and complete my education by getting my doctorate.

she wishes she would have done hers when her son was little. because now, she is working and getting her doctorate and she says it is very difficult.

she says the debt will be an investment, and will buy me a few more years with my kids, at which point they will be 5 and 6 and will be going to school.

THEN i can start my career.

but is that foolish?

am i being a baby?

i know not many people read this little 'ol blog...but if you have any advice, will you give it to me?

i have prayed and prayed. and i guess i just need to leave it in God's hands.

but i can't figure out the difference between "don't strive. leave it in God's hands. TRUST HIM." and "be smart. make a plan."

but really?? how can i leave these precious ones?

 

 

 

 

my boys: 18 months and 3 months

 

:Berkeley:

 

Berkeley is a down right joy these days. I mean, he is so fun! when I first had sam, Berkeley went through a little feisty stage. I didn't know how to discipline him best and things were kinda crazy. however, he's gotten kind of used to our routine, and he just likes to have fun!

he gets a little upset when the days get long and it's too cold to go outside. especially since he's been sick (just a cold). but other than that, being his mama is wonderful!

we're just LIVING for summer over here.

I get the privilege of getting Berkeley to sleep each night. we go to sleep together in the guest room and Derek gets sam to sleep. hey, it works. and it solved the problem of me missing Berkeley so much because of all the time I was needing to spend taking care of sam. now, it's like we're bonding as he cuddles up close/kicks me in the face as he sleeps :)

when sam gets hungry Derek comes and gets me and then i'm on sam duty! then Derek gets to go sleep with Berkeley.

here's the deal. I was doing some research on co-sleeping and I read MANY facts that made me a fan. but one of them was that for parents that work (Derek) it is a way for the child to bond with them, even though they aren't actively interacting. I thought that had to apply to me too, even though i'm here most of the time, i'm busy with sam a lot. so now Derek and I both get to bond with him.

Derek and I know without a doubt that in the very near future we'll be sleeping in the same bed again. this is just what works for right now.

Berkeley is having a difficult time gaining weight so we try feed him constantly...even if the choices aren't the healthiets, hence the picture below where he picked out every single marshmallow from the lucky charms.

 

I had a teacher fair to go to the other day and NEEDED to straighten my hair. but in order for that to happen....this mess had to happen. it kept him busy, so I was cool with it :) 

 

if he misses his afternoon nap, this happens. cuddling on the couch (while watching ellen, haha. he loves to watch them dance on that show, plus I think it's hilarious)

 

in the mornings he wants to read EVERY SINGLE BOOK in the house while cuddling in the bed. I use this time to drink my coffee and ease into the morning. it works out brilliantly for both of us.

 

 

 

:sam:

my sam boy. I love him so. we like to cuddle a lot too. I try my very hardest to get up with him before Berkeley wakes up so we can have some one on one time besides just nursing.

it breaks my heart some days when i'm so busy with berkeley that I don't get to hold him much. I used to hold Berkeley non-stop when he was tiny. oh well, guess that's how it is for the second child. and that's new to us since Derek and I are only children.

 

 

Sammy sammers has been a little sick :( but still so precious. he's just a chill kid.

he has started cooing and smiling his straight across little smile. it kills me :)

once again, I don't have too much to say about sam besides that I love him. baby babies don't do a whole lot, which I had already forgotten in just 15 months!

 

 

I do need to say that being a mom to two is very hard for me sometimes. I HATE not being able to give them both my 100% attention. the guilt just piles on all day and by the end of the day all I want is for Derek to be home so each kid has their own parent :) I know it's unrealistic to think I need to give them both all my attention at the same time. so that's why i'm praying god will teach me how to balance it all, making sure both boys feel loved.

my boys. 17 months and 9 weeks.

:Berkeley:
:for breakfast he either wants to share a bowl of cereal or eat a frozen waffle...like he eats it frozen, won't let me toast it these days:
:wants me to read his big truck book to him over and over:
:he's really quiet and cuddly all morning until his first nap, then he's all adventure and play in the afternoon:
:he met his new babysitter today (he and sam will stay with her during my 6 hour a week practicum for school). my shy little mommy's boy did great...gave her five, gave her books to read to him, showed her his room, and wanted to follow her out to her car. what a relief! :)
:wants to eat reeses puffs and potato chips all day. but his meals are healthy so I let him eat those as snacks:
:quit falling asleep in his own bed (like, it would take one or two hours), so we have been letting him go to sleep in the bed with me, while Derek takes sam. then we switch in the middle of the night when sam gets hungry. yeah, we're kinda flexible, to say the least. it's not that bad and we know it won't last forever. just a stage. he's only 17 months old and he's already gone through so many silly stages, we know this one is bound to end soon like the rest of them:

thinks he's too big for a highchair.

fell asleep during supper, which is amazing for a child that takes FOREVER to fall asleep any other time :)

:Sam:
:still sleeping pretty much all day:
:went to his 2 month appointment yesterday and is in the 79th percentile for his weight! that's great because Berkeley has never been above the 22nd percentile, and that was at his best!:
:is kind of fussy at night and right when he finishes eating:
:smiling more and cooing. precious. melts this mamas heart:
:loves to sleep with his daddy holding him:
...don't really have much else to say for sam. he is still kind of just quiet and sleeping most of the time. so ready for him to be part of the family, interacting and everything.

snoozin' while berkeley and I played outside on a gorgeous day

what happens when dad changes your diaper. onesie over pants.



here's a glimpse of the fort Berkeley and I made on a cold winter day. at first, he hated it and would freak out when I climbed in. so I just decided to act like it wasn't there and eventually he crawled in there on his own and hung out there all afternoon.

 it's so crazy being in charge of his entertainment. mommy's have a big job! big, and challenging, and the most amazing job ever! how will I ever leave them to teach school?? or will I have to???
so much unknown right now, which is why all I can do is enjoy the present. knowing I might not be doing this with my boys this time next year keeps things in perspective big time.

glimpses of our home.

here is our new home. a dream come true. a surprise actually! we had no idea at the beginning of the summer that we would be having a house built by august. it was all just part of a perfect plan God had in store for us! we get to live across the street from our dear friends and small group leaders. we have dreams of our children growing up across the street from each other. I've already walked across the street to borrow butter for brownies one night, and olive oil for bread dip another night. we love it here on gardenia street.

 

 

our home :)

 

 

a corner of the boys' room. lyrics from "needle and thread" by sleeping at last + a pallet that hubby turned into a bookshelf.

 

kitchen, where I do all my cooking. haha. yeah, right.

guest room. come visit and you can stay here :) print on the nightstand says "rise and shine" love it.

 

our bedroom-"you are my happily ever after" print is my fave.

 

entryway. love our typewriter...a housewarming gift from the lady that introduced us.

 

another corner of our bedroom....berkeley snuck into this one. i'm glad :)

fireplace. painting by hubby's boss' wife. she's so very talented, and so sweet to paint that for us.

 

old window from our alma mater (university of central Arkansas) + thrifted green velvet chair (we got two!)

 

thanks for touring our home!